


As The Crow Flies

by SeigePhoenix



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-10-28 06:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeigePhoenix/pseuds/SeigePhoenix
Summary: A year after the fateful events in The Spider and the Fly, Siobhan is left wondering what is the point anymore.  That is until she discovers a newly revived Guardian and seeks help in the Reef when old enemies reappeared.The life of a Guardian is never peaceful.(On a temporary hiatus while I get life and mental health sorted, don't worry I will be back)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finally made the sequel. While reading The Spider and the Fly will give you a good idea as to what happened with references, it's not completely necessary.

Arawn watched his Guardian as she lounged on a ledge overlooking the entrance to the Dreaming City. Bitterness had been her constant companion for the past year, since the prison break and hunt for the Barons. It had torn her apart to make the choice she did. Arawn thought she'd break at certain points. In the end, she'd pulled herself out of the spiral and made her way to the Tangled Shore. She'd kept busy running bounties for Spider and keeping a low profile from the Vanguard. She couldn't face Zavala or Ikora yet. Kura had become situated in her position as Vanguard nicely, despite her stubbornly insisting it was just until they found a replacement.

“We've never been in the Dreaming City…” Arawn watched it curiously. His Guardian shifted and chuckled as she reached up to pat him.

“A city full of Taken? Sounds like my worst nightmare.” Siobhan smiled at Arawn as they watched the Guardians going to and from the entrance. Never to be them. Petra had invited her back before the bad blood between them but Siobhan just couldn't. She knew her past was there, had seen brief flashes of it when her Light had been torn from her. That part of her was dead and gone, and she felt odd looking in at the Dreaming City through a Guardian's eyes.

Her eyes were drawn to a Ghost floating into the city. They narrowed as the Ghost wasn't accompanied by a Guardian. “Oh! I know that Ghost. He's been looking for his partner for a long time.”

“Oh? Maybe he'll find him now. There's a whole other section open to the Ghosts now.” It gave her no small measure of petty glee to know that Guardians in the Dreaming City had to annoy Mara. That the gates opened partially because of her made that glee double. There was no love lost between the queen and herself, not after everything that transpired. She'd heard the recording of Mara's opinion on Uldren's death, Anna had gotten it from another Guardian that had gone into the realm. It made her blood boil to hear how dismissive she was. No one could convince Siobhan that Mara was merely saving face in front of the Guardians. The people were nothing but pawns to her in some grand game.

“Siobhan, we need to visit it.” Her face closed up. She knew what Arawn meant. It was too hard. The grief was still sharp in her heart. Emyr only had the memorial on Venus, which bore Uldren's name as well. Uldren himself, had his own gravesite. She wasn't ready. Siobhan wondered if she ever would be. Guilt ate at her alongside her grief, a lead weight around her heart.

“I can't. You know that Arawn.” She ran a hand through her hair. They remained in silence as they watched the traffic. Arawn's shell fluttered and his eye shot towards the gate. “You okay buddy?”

“A Guardian. I sense a new Light!” Siobhan jerked her head in the same direction. “But, they're not alone. We need to get there Siobhan!” She stood and sighed. Nothing good would come of this, her gut told her. She jumped down from the ledge, landing somewhat gracefully on the ground below.

“Alright. Let's go.” She easily wove through the crowds. The Awoken guards seemed on edge and she took note of that. There had to be a reason they were nervous. Arawn led her to a cemetery and a biting comment was on her tongue when she noticed the guards surrounding the podium.

“You're to come with us prince.” Siobhan’s heart stuttered as she heard them. One stepped aside and there he was. A rush of memories flew through her and his eyes met hers. Confusion muddled those golden eyes as he looked around at the guards.

“Siobhan.” Arawn murmured as he felt the pain in his partner. “He's a Guardian. I feel his Light.”

“So do I.” She wrestled with her emotions before taking a deep breath. “Send a message to Kura. She needs to know. And she can let Zavala and Ikora know. We'll get him out.” If there was one thing she wasn't going to let happen, it was let Mara have him again. Guardians had no memory of their past, he was being given a clean slate. She would damn well make sure he got to keep it.

“I don't know what you think you're doing. Trying to interfere with a Guardian.” Her voice rang out in the gazebo and the guards whirled. “This doesn't involve the Reef or the Awoken. This man is a Guardian and is under the protection of the Vanguard.” She crossed her arms as the guards reached for weapons. “Go ahead and try it. I can come back, _you_ can't.” The ice in her voice had them hesitating. They hadn't bargained on another Guardian appearing. Especially _this_ Guardian.

“Come to put another bullet in him?” Siobhan’s fist tightened at the taunt. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

“For a fellow Guardian? What good would that do? He's immortal now. Now are you going to pose a problem while I get him to the Tower?” She smirked as they glanced at each other nervously.

“We have orders from Queen Mara.”

“Nice try. I know she's sealed away. Likely it came from Petra. Who has no claim to a Guardian. Regardless of who they were in their previous life.” She watched as Uldren's Ghost got the coordinates from Arawn. The two transmatted out in a flash of silver and the guards cursed. “Oops. They got away.” She snapped her fingers with a sly smirk as Petra showed up.

“Where is he?” The guards helplessly gestured to Siobhan. “Siobhan.” Her voice held a wealth of meaning. The two had been friends prior to Siobhan's hunt for the Barons. Too much had chiseled away at whatever foundation of trust it had been built on afterwards. Siobhan had found out the truth of what had been driving Uldren and it had torn her soul apart.

“Hello Petra.” The name fell flat on her lips. The two women knew what the other felt about the other.

“You shouldn't have interfered.”

“Don't feed me that bullshit. I was perfectly within my rights to interfere. He’s not one of yours anymore. He's a Guardian. Has zero memory of who he was before. I won't let your _queen_ try to manipulate him anymore.” Petra stepped forward at the venom in Siobhan's voice. It was no secret how this Guardian felt about the queen, and she would be a lit match to a powder keg if given the chance. The Reef hadn't declared war on the Tower for Uldren's death because of his crimes against the Awoken people. Siobhan had been spared thanks to sheer luck.

“Mind your tongue cousin.”

“No. I won't. We're done here Arawn. Let's go.” Siobhan spun on her heel and arched an eyebrow at the knife Petra raised. “Put that down Venj.” The use of her last name surprised Petra. “You can kill me but I'll come back. And if I don't, my Fireteam will. And it doesn't matter, he's well out of her fucking clutches now. I'll make personally sure of that!” Petra narrowed her eyes but lowered the knife. She knew the others would come and investigate if Siobhan disappeared in the Reef.

“He can't stay with your people.”

“My people? Petra, he _is_ one of us now. The man has no memory of who he was. Doesn't even know his own name!” She swung out one hand as anger burned in her chest. “He's paid for his crimes. He's been given a clean slate.”

“Not from the Awoken. Not from the Queen.”

“Oh his death wasn't good enough punishment? Well, too bad Petra. You should've stopped me from pulling that trigger a year ago if the Awoken had something in mind for him.” Siobhan's lip curled on her snarl as she met Petra's cool stare. “As it stands, that man is no longer Uldren Sov.”

“You.” Siobhan cut off whatever reply Petra was going to say. It burst out of her, when she'd been keeping the secret close to her chest.

“Just as I am no longer Razili Somalis.” Petra froze as she heard the name. “Yes, I know who I was, what I did, and how I died.” Petra stared speechless as Siobhan crossed her arms. The guards looked at each other nervously, they'd heard that name before. One of the Prince’s top infiltrators, Razili had gone missing on an assignment. Her body had been found in the Cosmodrome, she'd been caught in a firefight between Fallen and Guardian activity. The Reef agents hadn't been able to retrieve her body due to the sheer number of dregs and vandals.

“How? Guardians don't have any memory of their life you said. Then that means,” Petra spoke rapidly and Siobhan cut her off with a curt shake of her head.

“I regained flashes of who I was when I lost my Light. I am not the only one to do so. Those who were risen after the Traveler’s awakening have no such memories. We are given this immortal life in exchange for all of who we were in the past.” Siobhan glared at Petra. “Now I will leave. Give my regards to Mara will you?”

“This is a dangerous line you walk Siobhan.” The Guardian scoffed and held out her hands at her sides.

“I always walk a dangerous line. It's called being a Guardian.” She nodded to the side and disappeared in a shower of purple sparkles. Petra cursed softly and knew this wouldn't go over well with Mara.

~~~~~~~~

“You're fine. This is a friendly ship. I promise!” Siobhan heard the voice before she fully materialized. She grabbed the wrist as he pulled a knife at her throat. Not unlike their first two meetings, and now it came complete circle.

“Let's not have a repeat of that shall we?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to puzzle out her words. “What has your Ghost told you?”

“That I am a Guardian, protector of the Traveler, and a holder of Light.”

“The usual then. I suspect you have questions?” Siobhan watched as Arawn floated over to his Ghost and bounced happily in greeting.

“Several.”

“I'll answer what I can.” She kept her smile neutral despite the storm of emotions in her heart. Relief at finally seeing him again, but the razor edge of grief knowing he had no memory of her. She silently vowed she'd do what she could to ease his transition as a Guardian. A way of making up for failing to get through to him when he was alive. Though, it was a little amusing. They'd come full circle it seemed. Razili and Uldren had been lovers, she died and was resurrected, then Siobhan and Uldren became lovers, he died, and now here he was. A Guardian.

“Those guards. They _knew_ me.” Siobhan sighed and flopped down into the pilot's chair. She waved her hand towards the passenger's seat before she began the launch sequence.

“That's tricky. See, you have no memory of your previous life. Right?” He nodded slowly. “Rule number one of being a Guardian, if you follow Commander Zavala, no investigating your past. It will bring nothing but pain.” Siobhan guided the ship into orbit as Uldren absorbed the news.

“So they knew who I was before all of this.” She nodded and waited as he thought on his words. This Uldren wasn't as harsh, there were no tight lines around his eyes. More like the Uldren in those flashes of memory from when she was Razili. “Did you?” A moment of panic flared in her chest. To answer honestly or lie? Siobhan knew what she'd do, and she couldn't bring herself to lie. It didn't mean she had to tell him how they were involved.

“I did. I won't tell you because it won't do you any good here. You'll find whatever answers you want and base your opinions on that.” He nodded and his Ghost popped up next to him.

“What shall we call you?” Uldren looked to her and her lips thinned.

“I can tell you the name you once went by. It doesn't have to be your name anymore. Choose whatever name you want to be your name.” He thought it over and looked down at the symbol stitched into his cloak. The black bird with its wings spread in flight.

“What was my name?” Siobhan blew out a breath and drummed her fingers on the steering column.

“Uldren. Uldren Sov.” He took a moment to absorb it. As if feeling how it felt on his mind and tongue. His Ghost watched him carefully, as if sensing the internal conflict going on in his mind.

“I see. Somehow I get the feeling that keeping that name will result in complicated situations?” She gave him a noncommittal shrug and wouldn't meet his eyes. That told him everything he needed to know. He sighed and fingered the symbol embroidered on the cloth. The bird seemed significant to him, a ghost of a memory in his mind. No other name felt right on his tongue. “I'll keep my name. Perhaps I may turn it to something good from whatever it was before.”

“Are you sure?” He nodded as he looked up at her.

“I am. However, if it will ease tensions? I can be referred to as Crowe in public settings.” She thought it over and sighed. This was too sticky a web for her to navigate.

“Hmm… I guess there are certain things that transcend death. But that's part and parcel with the whole ‘don't investigate your past’ deal. I'd like to get the Vanguard's take on this.” Siobhan tapped her fingers on the column to some tune in her head. Suddenly it occurred to her.

“What class are you I wonder?” She grinned as that brought him up short. His Ghost scolded Siobhan as he hadn't had a chance to explain it to him yet. “My bad. Though, I am curious. It would help to know which Vanguard we'll need.” His Ghost materialized in front of him and projected three different sigils in the air.


	2. Chapter 2

“Of course. Makes perfect sense and all.” Siobhan restrained her urge to laugh at how Fate liked to pull the strings. Uldren Sov was a Hunter, a Solar user it looked like. If the heat that poured off of him was any indication. She wondered, as she watched him speak to his Ghost, if this was similar to how he felt when she'd approached him about the Black Garden. Former lover, lost by fate, coming back with absolutely no memory. The Fates were truly cruel to them for this. One name kept tugging at her mind, and she felt grief for it as well. She had no way to contact him, except… It galled her to realize she'd be indebted to that smarmy eliksni again, but had little choice. No Awoken would be willing to parlay with her, so her only chance at finding him would be Spider. Earth came into view and she swung her chair around to face him.

“Okay. Things are gonna be _really_ awkward, and hostile, and unpleasant, and all around _bad_. So, to avoid a lot of that unpleasantness, I pulled in a favor from the Shipwright to empty the hangar.” Uldren's Ghost, renamed Corbin, bobbed in front of her face. Their ship pulled into her usual spot in the hangar and she shut it off.

“Did my Guardian do something bad?” Siobhan drummed her fingers against the steering column. This was such a tricky topic. The conflict was written on her face. “I guess that answers my question.” He and Uldren got ready to depart her ship when she grabbed onto his cape.

“Wait. It's more complicated than you think.” Siobhan scrubbed a hand over her face and Arawn announced the presence of the Vanguard. _All_ of them. “Figures. You go a year without seeing Mom and Dad, get into a _little bit_ of trouble and now you get grounded.”

Zavala was first on the ship and took in the scene. Uldren Sov, prince of the Reef, was standing next to Siobhan. Siobhan, to her credit refused to look at him and Ikora. She sat with one leg propped on the other and her elbow rested on the ship console. Not unlike a petulant child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Only this particular cookie jar was a powder keg with the Reef. Ikora’s soft gasp drew his attention and she started forward. Siobhan moved lightning fast, she put herself between the Warlock Vanguard and Uldren. It surprised Zavala and made him think. He knew she'd been involved with the Reef prince, but hadn't given the relationship much credence. A superficial one that benefitted both of them. Perhaps there had been more, at least from Siobhan's side. The utter devastation he'd seen on her face after she got back from the Tangled Shore… He was sure the woman in front of them cared deeply for the former prince. Who was now a Guardian. Fate was funny or cruel. Zavala felt sympathy for the Hunter, theirs was hardly a life that leant to lasting relationships.

“Siobhan. You need to stand aside.” Siobhan crossed her arms and planted her feet stubbornly.

“No. Not until his Vanguard is here.” Thinly veiled hostility simmered in her Light as she stood between them.

“What do you mean _his_ Vanguard?” Ikora snapped impatiently as Siobhan refused to move. A chipper voice broke the silence.

“I'm betting she means me. Looks like he's a Hunter.” Kura chuckled as she joined the other two. She smiled kindly and Siobhan felt relief rush through her. Kura could he a voice of reason with the other two. “Well, well. How much has your Ghost and Siobhan told you?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. She's remaining silent on what happened in my past. I believe she said that Guardians aren't supposed to investigate their past.” Kura looked over at Siobhan with a teasing smile.

“A do as I say and not as I do moment Siobhan?” The Hunter had the grace to look sheepish. “Relax. I understand you didn't intentionally look up your past. But this is going to be tricky.” Kura sighed. She looked over at Ikora and Zavala who both nodded. Zavala stepped forward and Siobhan stiffened in response. It made Kura laugh inside to see the small Hunter willing to stand up to them all.

“Thankfully Nevia and Cayde are elsewhere at the moment. This will ease tensions.” He met Uldren's eyes and sighed. There was a lot to explain. “I see Siobhan has told you what your name was.” He nodded and shifted closer to Siobhan. _That was interesting._ “You were once Uldren Sov, Prince of the Reef and Master of Crows.” Siobhan glanced at Kura in surprise but waited to see how it would end. Perhaps the Commander had a plan in place.

“Our forces knew of each other but kept their distance. Until a certain Guardian,” Zavala paused and glanced pointedly at Siobhan who in turn found something on the ceiling to be _very_ interesting. “Needed coordinates to a place you knew. After receiving those our two groups kept a reluctant peace. Then the Fallen betrayed your sister and people. She called upon this one here to quell the rebellion.” Siobhan still wouldn't meet his eyes. Zavala explained through Oryx, after which Uldren's location was unknown. It was believed Mara had died but not everyone believed it. Zavala looked to Siobhan before he added that Uldren himself had spent the entire time searching for his sister and a way to find her.

“It wasn’t until after the Red War that we knew about your location from Siobhan. Albeit unwillingly.” Siobhan bit her lip as she kept quiet. Those weren't pleasant memories for her.

“I already apologized and did my punishment for that.” Zavala inclined his head in acknowledgment of her interruption.

“You had been behaving strangely and were working against your people. It was decided to bring you into the Prison of Elders before things became worse.” Uldren watched silently, surprised by everything Zavala was saying. These actions, they didn't feel right. It didn't seem like anything he'd do. Perhaps a Guardian is different from their past self upon resurrection. “Then you, with the help of the Fallen Vandal Variks, executed a prison break. There your corrupted Scorn shot and killed the previous Hunter Vanguard's Ghost. You almost killed him but Siobhan interrupted before you could finish it.”

“No. My Guardian was responsible for that?” Corbin stared at his Guardian but there was no hint of the Darkness in him. He was sure of it and said as much. The Traveler wouldn't have chosen a man tainted by Darkness for his partner. Corbin was sure of it.

“Patience little one. I believe it should be Siobhan who tells the rest of this tale.” Siobhan panicked and looked at Kura who shook her head. She agreed with Zavala, even as her heart weighed heavy with sympathy. Ikora merely watched, content to let this play out.

“Siobhan?” Corbin turned to her and she felt the lump lodge in her throat. She remembered all that he had said and all she'd done. Panic buzzed in her ears and her skin felt as if ants crawled along her body.

“I jumped through the gate behind you and the Barons. Cloaked so I went unseen. I tracked and killed every single Baron but one. Fik-rul, the first and leader of the Scorn. The Fanatic. He destroyed my blade and escaped after I assumed he was dead.” Siobhan tugged at her cloak as she told the story, her voice was flat. She refused to look at Uldren or his Ghost. “After Fik-rul I went after you.”

“No.” The single word seemed to cause her physical pain. She flinched away and nodded though the tears formed in her eyes.

“Yes. I was the one who shot and killed you.” Siobhan’s fingers twisted the fabric of the cloak as she spoke. “The Darkness had consumed you, Riven's manipulation had broken you…” Her tears clogged her throat and she turned her head to the side. A year later and it was still too raw. That fateful decision. Every single day since she'd questioned it, gone over it in her head to see if there could have been a different outcome.

“You were considered an enemy of the Tower and were dealt with as such.” Ikora explained, chiming in when she saw the difficulty Siobhan was having. “No one was able to get in touch with Siobhan to explain Cayde was alive. And afterwards we conferred with Petra Venj. The Awoken would have put you to death for your crimes against them. That is the only thing that spared us a war with the Reef.” Ikora did not judge Siobhan, she couldn't. She had been the one to call for Uldren's head when Nevia had first called for the evac. After seeing the broken shell that had been Siobhan afterwards, her anger had died down. She'd been able to listen to the reports and saw the manipulation. Her heart had gone out to Siobhan, but the woman had avoided the Tower and Vanguard ever since.

“Will there be Guardians going for my head then?” Zavala shook his head and began to speak when he was interrupted.

“They'll regret it.” The deadly intent in her voice surprised everyone in the room. Uldren stared at her in surprise.

“You were the one to kill me… Why do you care so much?” She flinched as if he'd slapped her.

“You paid for whatever it was you did when alive. The ultimate price. I can't take my decision back. I _can't._ But I won't let some Guardian try to take you or your Ghost down. Your past is your past. And it ended in the dirt and rubble at the gate of the Dreaming City's Watchtower.” Kura put her hand on Siobhan's shoulder. She turned to her Vanguard and the tears blurred her vision.

“I'm leaving first. I'll let the Vanguard get you settled. You should know Commander, the queen wanted him. Sent guards after him.” Zavala sighed and nodded. He'd expected as much.

“I take it since you are here and we have silence from the Reef that it was bloodless?”

“My reputation preceded me.” She answered with a predatory grin. Zavala nodded. As long as it ended without bloodshed, the Reef would have to deal with the fact Uldren Sov was now one of theirs. He was a Guardian, for better or for worse. It was up to the Vanguard to help guide him in his future at the Tower.

Siobhan swept out into the hangar and saw Holliday there. Amanda stared at her wrench as her thoughts played across her face. The Hunter stopped beside her and lightly touched her shoulder. It snapped her out of her thoughts. “Hey Sio. Is it true?”

“Yes. It is.” Amanda tossed the wrench on the table and leaned against it with her arms crossed. “Talk to me. Cayde's not here but I think I'm an okay substitute.” If anything it would help distract her from her own thoughts.

“I used to think Guardians were all good. I’ve known about Yor and his like, but I mean. Most of what I've seen has been good.” Siobhan nodded and watched as Amanda moved her hands to emphasize her words. “But now? I mean, look what Uldren did.”

“Yes. I know.” Amanda was brought up short and rubbed the back of her head with a sheepish grin. “It's okay. You won't be the only one to think or say it I’m sure.”

“It's just. What he did to us, to Cayde. That doesn’t exactly seem Guardian material to me.” Siobhan nodded.

“And if that's all you see, it's not. I'm not sure how the Traveler decided to pick who gets to be a Guardian and who doesn’t. Perhaps the Light blocks our memories so we don’t remember who we were in a past life. Uldren is one of those rare cases. A Guardian that is recently revived after death, so their past isn't a mystery.” She crossed her own arms and sighed. “During the Red War when I lost my Light, I got flashes of who I was. It was almost like the Light had blocked me from seeing it.”

“I didn't know that…”

“I don't think it happened for every Guardian. But the flashes I saw? I wouldn't classify me as the most upstanding citizen. There must have been something in me the Traveler saw that left a spark for Arawn to find.” Amanda sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“It's just hard. Cayde, he's like the big brother I never had.”

“I know. But Uldren already paid for that crime. You can't punish someone twice for the same thing. Especially since he can't remember what he did.” Amanda blew out her breath and looked up at Siobhan finally.

“Yer right. I won't treat him special like, but I won't go out of my way to avoid him. But Sio?” Siobhan tilted her head and she saw the question in Amanda's face.

“Well… About them. Europa is so far away, they're focused on their own mission, and well… It's kinda like a second honeymoon.”

“You don't wanna tell ‘em.” Amanda laughed as Siobhan had the grace to blush. “It's okay. I don't think it would end too badly. Cayde would find the humor in it. What class is he?”

“Hunter…” Amanda burst out laughing.

“Oh man. Cayde'll have a field day when he and Nevia get back. Thanks for the talk Sio. I'll do my part to make sure he's treated fairly here in the hangar.” Siobhan smiled at Amanda.

“Thanks. Also, if you don't mind?” Amanda perked up. “You can let it be known to any Guardians that seem like they're about to make trouble? I'll personally kick anyone's ass that tries to hurt him or his Ghost.”

“You got it. Given your reputation in Gambit, I can see folks taking that threat seriously, Executioner.” Siobhan grumbled about the nickname. She'd risen in the ranks in Gambit in the year since Uldren's death. When she'd discovered the title of Champion was Dredgen, she'd left without looking back. It had caused tension between her and the Drifter but she told him it would be a cold day in hell before she was _ever_ associated with that name.

“Yeah, yeah. Just let them know will you please? I have to go to my place and get cleaned up. There's someone I have to pay a visit to.”

“Sure thing. And, thanks again. For listening and understanding.” Siobhan smiled at Holliday and waved it off as she left the hangar. The Tower was already buzzing and she was getting the speculative looks. It was annoying and reminded her why she left the Tower in the first place.

She got back to her apartment and Arawn popped out. “Put in a call to Spider?”

“Sure, what's one more thing to add to my debt?”

“You've paid your debt off I thought?” Siobhan gave him a pointed stare. “Right. With Spider the debt is never really ‘paid’ so much as traded huh.” He spun his shell in agitation before he opened up the comm line.

“Well, well. What a sweet little fly that comes calling for old Spider. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” Siobhan sighed and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling.

“I need help locating someone. They're Awoken but I don't know what their affiliation is within the Reef anymore.” Siobhan crossed her arms as Spider chuckled in his raspy way. It sent a cold shiver down her spine, but as shifty as he was. Spider kept his word so long as she kept hers. He appreciated results and she delivered. So theirs was a mutually beneficial business arrangement.

“I see. You think _I_ have these kinds of connections?” Siobhan glared at the wall.

“I'm not going to grovel Spider. Do you have the connections or not?”

“Well now, this depends on who I'm locating.” Siobhan’s fingers curled into her sides. Impatience simmered. She hated his annoying ways.

“His name is Jolyon Till.” Spider chuckled low and dangerous. Like a predator that spotted its dinner.

“So the rumors are true then? Uldren Sov was brought back as a Guardian?”

“Yes. I was the one to find him.” She heard his laughter filter through Arawn's shell and it set her teeth on edge.

“Oh isn't that lovely. The Guardian who ended him was the one to find him. Fate has a funny way of thanking you hasn't it?” Siobhan clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes.

“Can you locate him or not Spider?”

“Well now, this will cost you.” Suddenly she heard a scuffle and her interest was drawn.

“Why is a Guardian looking for me?” The deep voice was familiar, straight out of her memories. A rush of emotion went through her. Finding him was selfish of her. She'd had it on the back burner to see him, ever since her memories had returned.

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Color me intrigued. I'll meet with you Guardian. Come to the Tangled Shore. Thieves Landing.” She agreed and Arawn stared at her as the call ended despite Spider's protests. He was concerned for his Guardian, what was she up to?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going with my own headcanon of how Jolyon looks. If Bungue ever gives us descriptions or shows us his face, I will gladly go and edit it. Until then, I'm going with my own headcanon.

Thieves Landing was business as usual. Spider's men still lurked in the shadows and the Scorn still waged war with the Fallen. The smell of ether, sickly sweet, coated the back of her throat. Felt like home to her more so than the Tower did these days. Her eyes scanned the perimeter, taking note of where Spider's men were patrolling. Something seemed off, like an itch she just couldn't reach. It bugged her but she couldn't figure out what it was. Instead, she stayed on alert. She suspected she was being watched, the who was in question. Watched and judged. There would be a time and place to meet with Jolyon, but he would have to decide. She'd have to wait out and see if she measured up.

Inside she was a mess. Guilt over what she did to Uldren was always there, a constant weight she was almost used to. Now that he was a Guardian she had to grapple with her own feelings. Should she stay away? Let him have a clean slate? Ignore the years they'd been involved, the past she now remembered? Siobhan knew it was foolish and selfish, but she hoped that talking with Jolyon would give her some direction to take. Her own heart couldn't make up its mind, but perhaps he could help. One thing she knew she would do is give him something back. After all she'd taken, she could at least give him news Uldren was alive.

The other side of the coin was she had no idea what Mara was planning. Siobhan wasn't stupid enough to believe Mara Sov was dead. She loved her control, power, and whatever plan she had in store to just let Oryx wipe her out that easily. The harsh thing was she had no connections in the Dreaming City anymore. Petra refused to talk to her, and wouldn't share even if they were on speaking terms. Jolyon was still a member of the Awoken Crows, that much she'd found out when she started digging. The problem was approaching him, or if he'd even be willing to work with her. Her memories were somewhat spotty but she did remember he and Razili were a true part of a triad. They didn't just mutually share Uldren. Though would he be so willing to work with Siobhan instead of Razili was the question. She had a lot to think about and allowing herself to be distracted in the Tangled Shore was begging for trouble.

A pinprick on the back of her neck set her senses off. She knew she was being watched, and whoever did see her had zero good intentions. The hostility was almost tangible. Her muscles bunched in automatic reflex and she zipped to the side right as the bullet buried itself in the wall behind her. _Shit!!_ Siobhan ducked into the entrance to Spider's lair, a neutral if not completely safe harbor. Sniper. She recognized the recoil. The Hangman was dead, she put the bullet there herself. Same with the Rifleman. None of Uldren's Barons could still be alive, except… _Fuck me._ Fikrul could have revived them. He still lived and would be looking for vengeance. Siobhan cursed herself for not thinking of that and hunting Fikrul down a year ago. Then she wouldn't be dealing with her current predicament.

“Come out, come out little Guardian. I want a taste of your Ghost!” Siobhan’s lips thinned as she recognized the voice. Fucking hell, the Rifleman _was_ back. Effing bastard taunted her again. A litany of curses flew from her mouth as she opened a comm channel to Spider. That fat bastard had to have known!

“You could have warned me!”

“Oh my dear morsel. We have an agreement now. The Barons leave my territory alone.” Spider's gleeful chuckle sent ice through her veins. No one betrayed her and got away with it! _No one._

“And in exchange you deliver me to them? Then I'll put them down and you'll be rid of them again? Guess again Spider. _I_ don't have to come back to the Tangled Shore.” She smirked when his chuckle abruptly cut off. Siobhan waited to hear his argument as another round popped off near her hiding spot.

“You think they'll stop at the Tangled Shore? Fikrul wants your head my dear. He won't stop until he has it.” The utter arrogance in his voice gave her pause. Did he truly think he could get away with this just because she had been in his debt? To offer her up to the bloody Barons again without thinking she'd retaliate? She was far too stubborn to die. Hadn't that been proven with Ghaul? Her features flattened as she realized she'd been stupid. Trusted in a safety that was never there to begin with. Believed Spider wouldn't betray her because she was useful to him.

“Yeah? Well I like my head the way it is.” Spider chuckled and wished her luck. The comm went dead and Siobhan made strangling motions with her hands. “Ugh, I was stupid to not think about this.”

“Siobhan. We've had other things to worry about lately.” Arawn reminded her as she leaned against the wall. “The Tower needs to know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Open a channel to Kura will you please?” Arawn agreed and opened it up. She heard Kura's voice and childish laughter in the background. “Oh jeez, sorry Kura. Didn't mean to interrupt family time.” Siobhan rolled her eyes as she heard eliksni being yelled from where the Rifleman was. Even in his own language he wasn't creative with the insults.

“You're fine Sio. Put that down right now Ciana. Honestly, you don't play with Daddy’s books.” A smile curved on Siobhan’s lips as she heard the toddler argue back in babble. Kura scolded the toddler gently and focused her attention back on Siobhan. The little one really was adorable, Aunty Sio called her a pixie. She really did fit the nickname.

“Kura, he revived the Barons.” Charged silence met her and she heard Kura speak quietly to someone before handing off Ciana. She waited until Kura spoke.

“Who did?”

“Fikrul. He wants me dead. Dead, dead. Like they wanted Cayde. I should have gone after him when I saw that his body was gone. Should've suspected he was still alive. I thought it was done, but I should never have assumed.” She winced as another shot rang out and maniacal laughter followed it. Still as annoying as ever.

“Is that?”

“Pirrha, the Rifleman.” Siobhan raised her voice so he could hear. “Who couldn't hit the side of a ketch!!” She heard the smattering of eliksni curses and grinned at his reaction. Trading insults was all she could do at the moment. Since she was pinned down until she could get a location on Pirrha. Hard to do when she kept her Ghost tucked safely away.

“Siobhan. Will you be okay? And why are you back on the Shore?” Kura understood her reasons for not wanting to stay at the Tower but would've imagined the Shore would bring just as many bad memories.

“It's kinda like my home away from home these days.” Siobhan conceded that it wasn't the most hospitable place. She wasn't about to let her Vanguard on why she was really on the Tangled Shore. “Anyway, I was just gonna run some bounties to get my head straight after what happened and well…” She heard another shot.

“I see. Be careful. I'll let Zavala and Ikora know.” Siobhan thanked Kura and sighed as she heard the laughter.

“Man, I thought I'd heard the last of that annoying laugh.” Arawn chuckled at the annoyance in her voice. Suddenly, the crack of an unfamiliar rifle rang out. Silence stretched and Siobhan dared a peek out from behind the corner. They were close enough behind cover that Arawn could revive her if she got shot. Didn't mean it hurt any less, getting a bullet between the eyes was never pleasant.

“Siobhan, I don't sense the Rifleman.” Arawn's voice sent something akin to fear down her spine. What the hell took him out? And _why?_

“One bug down. Now, are you going to come out so we can talk Guardian?” The deep melodic voice came over her commlink. Instantly, a wash of memories went through her. She bit back the relief and eagerness to see him. What she did, she’d be lucky if he didn't try to put her down the second he saw her.  
 _Jolyon_. Siobhan swallowed the nerves that beat against her stomach and throat. She stepped out of her little corner and kept her gaze steady as the red dot centered on her chest. She'd been shot before. Hurt like hell but she could deal with it. The emotional hurt would take longer to heal, but she knew she deserved no less.

“Impressive. Keeping your calm when facing a sniper's bullet.” She kept her urge to scoff down. As if it was her first time facing down a gun pointed at her. She was lucky if it happened once before lunch these days. His voice played on her memories. It was difficult when she heard the derision in it, when all she remembered was the teasing and soft Jolyon from the past. Those times were over. “Then again, I imagine death looks different to someone who can't die.”

The red dot disappeared and a tall man approached from the shadows. He wore dusty armor that bore the Reef's sigil. She noted the crow embroidered on his cloak. Siobhan checked the impulse to reach out, to touch. Her fingers curled into fists to check herself. She had no right to touch him, ever. Lost it when she killed Uldren. Unease and impatience snapped between them before she spoke, gathered her courage to speak. Her original purpose was to tell him about Uldren, but with Fikrul running rampant on the Tangled Shore… She had to deal with certain things first, if he'd be willing to even work with her. Jolyon had been the best tracker in the Crows, there hadn't been anything he couldn't hunt down. Siobhan hoped that hadn't changed.

“I need your help.” That got his attention. Siobhan figured that she had to take out the revived Barons again before she could even broach the topic of Uldren with him.

“A Guardian needs _my_ help?” Siobhan grit her teeth at the sour note in his voice. She clenched her fists and reminded herself that he had every reason to hate her. “What? Uldren's blood wasn't enough for you?” Her head snapped up and her mouth opened before she could stop herself.

“I had no choice!” His shocked gasp was all the warning she had before he had her pinned against the wall with a blade against her throat. _Damn it_. Siobhan froze as she felt the cool metal through the soft leather of her undersuit. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She'd never made those kinds of mistakes before.

“So _you're_ the Guardian that killed him. I would slit your throat, if I knew it would have any effect.” Low and cold, his voice sent shivers down her spine. This was the voice of a Crow. A life dedicated in service to espionage, assassination, and reconnaissance. “Let me see the face of the one who killed Uldren.”

“No!” She grabbed his wrist as it reached for the snap of her helmet. She surprised him with her strength, she could see it in his face. His silver eyes glared at her through her visor, as if a look could be enough to kill. The guilt ate at her, but she didn't want him to see her face. She swallowed nervously, ignoring the bite of metal at her throat as she did.

“I think you owe it to me Guardian. Seeing the face of the one who took something precious from me.” The white hot slice of pain at her throat tightened the ball of panic in her chest. He couldn't see her face! Damn! If she'd been anyone else in the past, she'd gladly take her helm off. He didn’t need to see it was Razili that took Uldren's life! She cursed herself for ever thinking that calling him would be a good idea. She tightened her grip in his wrist and slammed her knee into his stomach. Jolyon dropped his knife from the sheer force and Siobhan shoved him away. He stumbled back a few steps in surprise.

“If you think I'll trust the Guardian that killed Uldren, then you're crazier than I thought. You took him from me!” Jolyon snarled, raw grief turning his voice wild, as she fought the tears behind her helmet. The anguish she heard there, it broke a little more off her heart. Added to the guilt that weighed her soul. Arawn's soft voice broke the charged silence between them.

“Siobhan, he deserves to see it.” She shook her head but his eyes narrowed as he straightened. A good six inches taller than her, his silver eyes held hers. She wouldn't add to his misery. Not after everything.

“Either you show me your face or I walk.” Siobhan winced at the ultimatum. Her fingers curled into her palms, she wouldn't. She'd rather he walk than show him.

“I do hate to interrupt such an intriguing argument, but you might want to hurry and find cover. Consider this tip as a way of making up for the Barons. Petra Venj and her Corsairs are headed your way.” Siobhan let loose a litany of vicious curses. Jolyon's eyes widened as she glared at Spider's safehouse. They were far from even.

“Don't consider us even Spider. Not even close. I spent a good two months cleaning up your damn Shore for you. I'll make sure to soak it in Scorn blood again.” Siobhan made a mental note to find a way to get Spider back. In such a way he wouldn't be able to argue with her. She did not take betrayal lightly. Not anymore.

Jolyon studied her as she spoke to her little ball of Light, who remained hidden. Her voice tugged at his mind, there was a familiar quality to it. He just couldn't place where. He put it to the side. If he worked with her, he could find a weakness. Weakness could be exploited. He could have his revenge. She might even grow to trust him if they worked together. Then it would be even easier.

“Alright Guardian. I'll work with you.”


	4. Chapter 4

“From what the Crows have gathered, Fikrul has only revived 3 of the Barons aside from Pirrha.” Jolyon waved his hand over the holographic map. It showed every point of the Tangled Shore, and where the Barons were. The Rifleman, the Hangman, the Mad Bomber, and the Mindbender were the ones Fikrul chose to bring back. That they knew of. Siobhan was thankful that it wasn’t all of them, but four was enough. Fikrul was a whole problem onto itself. One she didn't want to deal with at that particular moment.

“They're in the same locations?” Siobhan sighed at Jolyon’s nod. This sucked. She needed his advice on Uldren, not to hunt down people she'd already killed! That thought gave her pause. “I wonder if this is how the Tower's enemies feel about us…”

“What are you mumbling about Guardian?” Siobhan groaned as she realized she did it again. Voicing her thoughts was a bad habit of hers.. Months of solitude made it a habit, one she had to remember to stop.

“Just thinking out loud. You stay out on patrol long enough, you start talking to yourself.” She waved a hand dismissively. Hopefully it was enough to end further talk. Then again, when was she ever lucky?

“I swore you Guardians had Fireteams?” She cringed and her lips twisted into a frown at the mention of team. Hers was always there for her and vice versa, but after Uldren's death… They'd all needed some time to cope with everything. So Jareth went off on his vacation, Anna moved in with Ataric, and Siobhan… She'd stayed on the Tangled Shore. A year to a Guardian was a drop in the bucket but it had felt like a century to her. Especially when Nevia and Cayde had left so soon after Jareth and Anna had. It wasn't a good time for her and her lips twisted into at the memory. Spiraling had been easy. She'd lost herself to a battle frenzy, hoping to find _something_ to kill the pain in her. Siobhan had pulled herself out of the self-destructive cycle, but it had been hard. She'd fought against her own impulses and had gotten to a place where she wasn't happy but wasn't consumed by self-loathing and the urge to drown it in blood. With Uldren's revival and the Barons’ return, that edge of desperation cut deep into her again. The itch to scorch the earth was becoming overwhelming. That voice was inside her head: _This is all your fault._ She needed to drown it out, her nerves were on edge from the constant need to move.

“Not all of us stay with our Fireteams all the time.” She tapped one of the images on the map and enlarged it. Her eyes narrowed as the familiar silhouette of the Hangman appeared. Jolyon studied the Guardian in front of him as she silently glared at the map. She wasn't quite what he was expecting when it came to the Guardian that killed Uldren. Regret wasn't something he expected. She seemed almost in pain from the memory. He wished he'd bothered asking Petra more about his death. He'd long ago assumed Uldren was lost to him. Since the battle with Oryx… Jolyon clamped his mind off from those memories. Dark times. He shuddered as the age old rage and grief swelled in his chest.

“We need to make sure Fikrul stays dead.” On that they could agree. Jolyon leaned against the wall as her Ghost spoke.

“We know how he was created. If we cut off their supply of corrupted ether then we cut him off permanently.” Jolyon thought it was telling that the little ball stayed hidden. Skittish. A good thing he supposed. Kept her alive. There was a burning question on his tongue. One that he always assumed would go unanswered, but here they were. He couldn't keep it inside anymore. Not if they were to work together. He wished he could see her face, it would make it easier to read her thoughts.

“Why?” She went still at his question. Silence weighed between them, broken by her sigh. The question seemed to be ripped from somewhere in his soul. “Why did you kill him?”

“He was corrupted by Darkness and driven mad by a Taken Ahamkara. He tried to kill the Hunter Vanguard, his Baron did kill his Ghost.” She sighed. “I'm sure you know all about what he did to the throne room and the other crimes on the Reef while he was corrupted.” He nodded, Petra told him about the slaughter in the throne room. It had been a hard to swallow truth that Uldren was capable of such acts. That he hadn't been in his right mind eased the sting slightly. Jolyon watched as she played with something in her fingers. Odd, he knew someone else who had that same habit. Difficult conversations had made her anxious and he'd gifted her a worry stone to play with. It calmed her mind then, and it had given him peace of mind to know her anxiety was soothed. He found it unsettling this Guardian had the same habit. He reminded himself it was a common enough tic.

“You talk as if his actions were not his own.” She kept her eyes on the map and shook her head.

“I don't believe they were.” That surprised him. “I may not have known him long but I did know him before Oryx. He wasn't like he was before the Taken King attacked our system. Consumed by obsession to the point of ignoring all else.” She sighed and he studied her. He'd known Uldren had taken a Guardian as a lover, had been okay with it. Jolyon was gone more often than not and he couldn't satisfy the desires that Uldren had been thirsty for. It seemed the Guardian had, which was fine with Jolyon. He had a growing suspicion this was the same Guardian, which added to his anger. Uldren's Guardian lover was the one that ended his life, it made him furious. Jolyon kept it under wraps for the moment. “I am sorry. I wanted to try and make him see reason, but there was nothing I could do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Petra informed me due to his crimes against the Awoken, he would be put to death. I tried, _begged_ , him to stop. To see reason. To see that he was being manipulated.” Her voice cracked, drawing his attention. He heard the note of truth in her voice, it eased some of the rage eating at him. She sounded truly regretful of what she had to do. A little voice whispered would he act differently in her position, but he ignored it.

“Wait, Mara's pet Ahamkara was the reason behind this?” Siobhan nodded. “The same one that your people killed?”

“Yes. Riven had been corrupted by Oryx. She was Taken. And controlled by Savathun.” Siobhan crossed her arms. “Uldren couldn't. It wasn't until the end, when he'd released the gate, that Riven had released her control, that he was back. Petra had arrived. She told me he'd pay for his crimes with his head.” Siobhan grimaced.

“I asked if he'd stop. He told me nothing would stop him from finding Mara.” Her shoulders hunched around her ears and he heard tears. Jolyon watched as she struggled to control her voice. Why was she so affected by this? Death was merely a game to Guardians. He'd seen how they treated it, and wondered how this one could be any different. “I couldn’t take the chance he'd come after my Vanguard or the City. No matter my own thoughts and feelings. Duty comes first.” He heard the bitter edge to her voice. This was surprising, but the hate had its claws in his heart. He couldn't forgive her. Uldren was gone.

“I see. You were given an impossible choice then. Leave him be or chance he'd come after your people again and then be branded a traitor. There were no easy choices. Shall we take on the Rider first?” She seemed relieved to have the subject changed. They devised strategies for getting rid of the Barons again. Fikrul was the problematic one. If only they knew where the source of that corrupt ether was, they could cut it off at the head. Jolyon would have the Crows looking for it while they took on the Barons. The Guardian mentioned asking if the Hidden or scouts knew anything. Jolyon refrained from scoffing that Guardians would know more than the Reefborn Crows would. They were interrupted by a call on a secure commline.

“Hello my little morsel. Curious to know where Fikrul is?” Jolyon tensed as he heard Spider’s voice. The stubborn set to the Guardian's shoulders told him she did too, and didn't appreciate him intruding anymore than he did. Something they could agree on. The Spider could not be trusted.

“I'll find him without your help Spider. I see how you repay those who helped you. I can do without that kind of gratitude.” Ice dripped from her voice and Jolyon's respect went up a notch hearing it. Not many could say they stood up to Spider and lived to tell the tale. There must have been something about the Guardian that made Spider hesitant to make a move.

“Oh ho. Some spunk. I was wondering where the old you had gone.” Spider chuckled as the Guardian clenched and unclenched her fist. “The slayer of Ghaul shouldn't be so soft after all.”

That was news. Jolyon looked down at the woman, she was the one who defeated Ghaul? He heard her muttering under her breath but couldn't make it out. “What's your endgame Spider? Hoping I take out the Barons and I drop my guard? Allowing for a dagger to the back?” She scoffed as Jolyon stiffened. “I may not be over fifteen years revived Spider, but I'm not stupid.”

“I never underestimated you Guardian.” His menacing chuckle set Jolyon's teeth on edge. He didn't trust the eliksni. He would keep them alive only until their usefulness was at an end. Something the Guardian understood.

“Good to know.” Sarcasm dripped from her lips as she spoke. “You'll be happy to know I have similar thoughts regarding you.” She cut the line and stared at the map.

“Just how big is that bullseye on your back?” Jolyon started at the sharp, dry laugh that burst from her.

“Bigger than I ever cared for.” She turned her head and they discussed the strategy for the Rider. Jolyon swore he heard melancholy in the Guardian's voice when she spoke of the target.


	5. Chapter 5

“Two down. Only one left is Fikrul.” Siobhan glanced over at Jolyon. They sat under an overhang, inspecting their weapons for damage. She ran her fingers over the pulse rifle, the deep blue shader muted from wear and tear. It had been such a part of her over the past year and a half. Almost as much as the blade strapped to her back. The one Jareth helped her to forge, and held her own Light inside of it. The blade was sharp with a serrated edge along the tip. She'd given it a new name: _Nightmare._ Due to the blade's dark metal and the feelings she put into it.

“That was an impressive display back there Guardian.” Siobhan's lips thinned as he spoke. She felt the heat as it crept into her cheeks. Screebs had chased her and she had panicked. She was a seasoned warrior but the thought of a Screeb exploding next to her was too much. Their goo took _forever_ to wash out of armor. She also didn't want Arawn to come out and revive her. That gave Fikrul, and to an extent Jolyon, too much temptation to destroy him. Making her death final. Instead, she'd searched for the highest building or object. The pole had held a Scorn banner, tattered and stained with blood, and a cursing Guardian. She'd clung to the metal like a lifeline, much to his amusement. It made it easy to pick the Screebs off with his sniper.

“Laugh it up. It's always like this when I go somewhere.” She puffed out her cheeks inside her helmet, still not secure enough to take it off. They packed up their gear and headed to the next spot. This was a potential hideaway given to them by the Crows. She crossed her arms as they made their way to a cave. A sudden icy chill sent a shiver down her back. Something was wrong about the place. Siobhan had never noticed it before, not the first time she had been on the Tangled Shore. Jolyon seemed uneasy as well. The tunnel was long, dark, and cramped. It reminded her of the tunnels on the moon and she sent up a silent prayer to keep the tunnel Hive free. Her heart raced in her chest as she kept the memories at bay.

The sickly sweet smell burned her nose, but it was tinged with something darker, menacing. This one snapped at her senses like a feral animal and she recognized it. A rush of memories anchored her in place. Her first look at a Scorn, the taunts by the Barons as she made her way into the prison, the abomination she faced, and then the sight of Cayde lying on the floor. The man she loved standing above him with a gun pointed at his head.

The same smell from the prison. Siobhan snapped herself back to reality. They were close to the corrupted ether source. Neither the Crows or Hidden knew where Fikrul's source was. Yet, they could be close. Too easy. _Something was wrong!_ Jolyon looked over his shoulder at her, waiting curiously for her to catch up. Siobhan barely had time to shout a warning before the shadow moved. Her hand reached out for him.

They both stared in horror as the sword stuck out from his chest. He raised one hand to it, taking it away covered in his blood. Siobhan reached out to him, past him with the Void forming a deadly blade in her hand. The icy eyes of Fikrul glowed behind the helm, standing behind Jolyon. He looked every inch the Fanatic as he tossed the lifeless body to the side. His laughter beat against her skull as she lunged towards him.

“Siobhan!” Arawn's voice snapped her out of the daydream. Her heart raced in her chest as cold sweat dripped down her back. Arawn was still unable to show himself. She couldn't cradle him for comfort. Siobhan raised her hands, still shaking from the dream, to her helmet. She had to take it off, too claustrophobic. She needed to feel the cool air on her skin, breathe without the masks. The nightmare was too fresh, too raw. Her mind circled with sintered thoughts.

“Guardian?” Her hands froze as Jolyon's voice reached her. Her eyes snapped up to him, intact and staring at her in confusion. Relief washed through her and she reached out. “What are you doing?” Her hand stopped an inch from him, fingers curling into a fist. She was the Guardian that killed Uldren. Nothing more. She had to remember that.

“Sorry. Nightmares. I have them a lot lately.” Siobhan turned and hugged her fist to her chest. She had to remember that she had no right to reach out for him. None and it burned her to know it.

“Huh. I didn't think you Guardians had any feelings like that. I mean, that sounds almost normal.” He tucked his hands behind his head as she stiffened at the accusation. She whirled around and opened her mouth to let him have it when he held up his hands in front of him. She could take a lot of insults but being labeled as unemotional? That was one she wouldn't tolerate. Memories, cherished and precious, flashed through her mind. His apology staved off the blistering words. “Sorry, that came out a lot more assholish than I planned.”

“Look. Just because I can't permanently die doesn't mean I don't feel things.” She crossed her arms over the front of her chest. “I'm not immune to the feelings that come from living a life of constant war. I feel loss, I feel the grief, and I regret.” Her voice cracked at the last words.

“You've lost someone…” Siobhan nodded and smiled sadly behind her helmet. The grief clung to her shoulders. More than he knew.

“Yes. I had only been a Guardian for a few short years.” She explained what happened in the Vault of Glass and he nodded. “I try and think about how my actions affect others.” She sighed. “Sometimes there are no good choices. But someone has to make them.” Silence stretched between them and Jolyon breathed in and released slowly. She could see the question burning on his tongue. She braced herself. Siobhan knew she deserved any venom tossed her way, she'd taken Uldren from him.

“What would have happened if Uldren had succeeded?” That was a surprise. She'd been expecting another crack about cold Guardians. She wondered if he would appreciate her honesty.

“He would have released Riven from her prison. A corrupted Ahamkara being controlled by a Hive God loose in the Reef. There were no good choices. As it stood, I saved him from being eaten by one of Riven's servants. A fate worse than death. I've seen the Ahamkara and she was driven into mindless rage by her entrapment and corruption. She was lashing out at everyone and everything.” Jolyon went still. Siobhan's lips twisted as she braced herself again.

“Only for him to die by your hand.” The words were a whip across her soul. She would forever wear that mantle: Prince Killer. It went with the others she'd been given, rather forced to wear until her soul bled. God Slayer, Hero, Savior. None that she wanted, none that she felt she deserved. The bones of her victories felt hollow in her mind, rattling around to bring forth the memories better left to the dust.

“Yes.” She could not deny it. There was no use. She had pulled the trigger. He'd been corrupted, taken. Siobhan hated making the decision, playing judge, jury, and executioner. It wasn't her. The mantle was ill-fitting and uncomfortable. “I did.” Her voice was flat, devoid of any emotion. How many times would she face that same accusation from him? How many times had she repeated it to herself?

“Releasing Riven would've destroyed the Reef. I guess there was no choice. But what about the other Guardians?” Siobhan’s lips twisted and she looked up at him.

“I didn't have official sanction from the Tower.” That surprised Jolyon. “I'm sure there were some who would have supported me, but the Vanguard wouldn't have. The Reef would have seen it as a declaration of war.” She shrugged. “The Guardians were busy dealing with the escapees from the prison. I wanted answers. So I went after him.”

“You said you wanted answers.” He trailed off as she nodded.

“Yes. I didn't hunt him down to kill him. I wanted to know why he would start anarchy inside the prison. Why he would kill or try to kill Cayde? Why he used me and tried to kill me too. I didn't want to kill him, but I was left with no other option it seemed.” Siobhan felt deflated, her soul was worn down. “Perhaps there were other options, but none that I could see.”

“I didn't expect to hear this from you. Something to think about Guardian.” Jolyon paused and she saw the thoughts rolling over his face. “What is your name?”

Surprise was first. Then came the reluctance to part with it. Guardian kept things impersonal, she realized how cruel it would be to reveal who she was. Stupid and rash, like most of her decisions. She shook her head. “Why do you want to know my name? Guardian should work.”

“We're bleeding beside each other. It would be nice to call you something other than Guardian. Being known only for your title can weigh on a mind.” She shook her head. She'd been known as The Guardian for almost thirteen years. She couldn't give him her name, didn't deserve it.

“We won't see each other past this. Let's keep it at Guardian.” He glared at her but she didn't back down.

“You remind me of someone. She was just as stubborn.” Panic burst, hot and quick, in her chest and she jerked back. “Relax Guardian. She's long dead. Let's go find this source of ether the Crows told us about then. Then our business will be concluded.” A shaky sigh escaped her lips as he changed the subject.

She nodded. Perhaps it would be best. If she could show him Uldren, give him back that part of him at least. Then she could leave without ever revealing who she was. She just needed to deal with the Scorn, then she'd tell him about Uldren. Finding the words was the most difficult part.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When are things ever easy?

Jolyon watched the Guardian move beside him. She was an enigma, one he found he wanted to figure out. She took Uldren from him, despite the prince already being lost to him before his death. Uldren had been acting odd since the defeat of the fleet at Oryx's hands. Jolyon had watched as he slid into a special kind of hell, the one in one's own mind. Jolyon remembered how Uldren had been before. Before the Black Garden, before Razili's death. Jolyon ached to have that Uldren back, but he knew that dream was for the foolish. He was anything but foolish now. Yet.

He trusted this Guardian. She reminded him of Razili with some of her mannerisms. That brought an old ache to his heart. There were times he struggled to remember her laugh, even as the memory of her smile stayed strong in his mind. Jolyon shook the melancholy thoughts from his mind. They had more pressing business at hand. The Barons had fallen under the Guardian's sword. She showed Jolyon how terrifying she could be in battle. That fear he had of his death was absent in her. She charged straight at the Scorn, that sword unsheathed and ready for a fight. Never flinching, even as the bullets sliced at her armor.

They settled down under some cover as they plotted out their next move. The Crows had sent in coordinates for Fikrul's newest hiding spot. They just had to figure out the best way to assault the base, given how much hostility there was between this Guardian and Petra Venj. Jolyon sat cleaning his weapon as he idly listened to the Guardian and her Ghost speak to one another. He heard her Ghost alert her to new messages. “What does Kura want?”

“She wants to talk to you.” Her shoulders dropped as he bit back the chuckle. She looked so irritated, he wished he could see her face. The defeat had her head shaking as she accepted the inevitable.

“Why?”

“She won't say why to me.” He unwrapped some rations and watched the drama unfold.

“Just what were you thinking Siobhan!? Where are you!?” The sheer motherly tone caught them both by surprise, she sounded disappointed and accusatory in the same tone. It impressed him. Jolyon snorted even as he filed away the Guardian's name. He remembered her Ghost saying it a few times, but he'd dismissed it from his mind. Now it was interesting seeing her being taken to task by her Vanguard.

“I told you I was in the Tangled Shore! Fikrul is back and gunning for me. Figured it would be better to bring the fight to him rather than risk an assault on the City again.” There was a lot of sense in her statement but Jolyon had a feeling there was more to it than that.

“Bullshit. You're running away and you know it.”

“I am _not_ running. I don't run away.” Jolyon heard the scoff from her Ghost and watched as she waved her hand dismissively.

“You do run away when it comes to dealing with feelings.” The woman named Kura pointed out. The Guardian curled her legs underneath her and turned her head as if to ignore the Vanguard. “Siobhan. Don't make me call Jareth back from his vacation.”

“He won't make me do anything.” Yet, Jolyon heard the reluctance in her voice. “Fine!” It came out as a whine and startled a laugh out of him. She glanced to him surprised, as if she'd forgotten he was there.

“Who is there with you?”

“An ally. I have no plans on doing anything but clearing out the Scorn with your Guardian here.” Siobhan stiffened and he shrugged. He wasn't about to insult the woman's intelligence by keeping quiet.

“I see. Thank you then. This one is a handful so I suppose I should apologize.” Kura ignored the protest spluttering out of Siobhan. Jolyon found it too amusing. This Vanguard knew her charge well it seemed or Siobhan's clumsy and brash nature was infamous. “Keep us updated Siobhan. I should also tell you. There's been _complications_ regarding the newest addition.” Her back went ramrod straight.

“Is he okay?” Kura's warm chuckle soothed even Jolyon's frayed nerves. She sounded like a competent woman and a good leader, if she could corral this Guardian.

“He's fine. The problem is… He's regained his memory. We don't know how but Ikora is troubled by the whole thing.” Siobhan went still, her hands went to her helmet, the words sank in slowly. “He's asking about you and where you are.” Kura suddenly cut off as a muffled voice spoke in the background.

“What do you mean he's _gone!_?”

“Kura! What’s going on?” Even Jolyon felt the anxiousness pouring off the Guardian. Who ever they were talking about, it must be bad.

“Uldren. He’s headed for the Tangled Shore.” Jolyon went still. Siobhan flinched as the name filtered from her Ghost's comm line. She regretted making this call public, she hadn't been quite ready to tell Jolyon. Now it was out of her hands.

“Did she say Uldren?” Siobhan froze and turned to face him. Kura affirmed she did say Uldren. “Uldren Sov?”

“Siobhan, is your ally Awoken?”

“Ah… He is.” She wouldn't look him in the face as he let the news sink in. Uldren was alive, as a Guardian it seemed, and he was a rare one to have his memories back. His mind struggled to keep up with everything. Jolyon wasn't aware Guardians could get their memories back. He watched and listened as Siobhan ended the call with the promise to search out Uldren. He was patient, biding his time.

“So… Seems the hunt for Fikrul will have to wait.” She twisted her fingers as she spoke. Her Ghost spoke next. He reached out and snagged her collar, he hauled her to her feet. She dangled from his fist, her toes barely scraped the ground. She barely made a squeak, almost as if she expected this reaction. Anger twisted like a knife in his belly as she grabbed his wrist to steady herself.

“Siobhan. It's time.” She shook her head but he persisted. “He deserves to know.” Siobhan blew out a breath and told him the story. From her hanging out at the gate to snatching Uldren from Mara's grip. It all poured out of her.

“And I basically snatched him out from underneath Petra's nose. So she _mmmaaayyy_ not like me very much right now.” Jolyon fought the smile that threatened to spread over his lips. All he could think was Uldren was alive and this Guardian knew. He still didn't appreciate being played for a fool. Even if he was impressed with the brass balls on her for going against the Queen's Wrath.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Her grip tightened on his wrist as she avoided his gaze. He refused to release her until he had his answers.

“When I was sure I wouldn't get a knife in my kidneys.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. He dropped her back to her feet and she stumbled a bit before she regained her balance.

“I can't say I blame you.” Jolyon muttered as he turned his head.

“I sought you out because of your connection to Uldren.” Siobhan started and crossed her arms over her belly. “I worked with him when I was looking for the Black Garden. So your name came up a time or two. You were my best bet to figure out what the hell is going on in the Dreaming City and what to do in regards to Uldren. Seems pointless now since somehow Uldren got his memories back. So odd.” Jolyon watched as she shifted from foot to foot while she spoke.

“So you're the Guardian he was involved with.” She snapped to attention at the hidden implication in his words. He could see the hesitancy to answer truthfully.

“Involved is a rather strong word I think. But yes. I was that Guardian.” She stuck with truth, his respect went up a notch as she answered. Siobhan’s arms tightened over her stomach. Jolyon nodded, he'd suspected as much. He'd accepted Uldren's desire for an outside partner, but he hadn't been expecting it to be this Guardian. It hit him then.

“So you were that Guardian _and_ the one to kill him. Huh.” She flinched as if the words hurt. He still didn't understand why she'd done it, he didn't think he ever could. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't. I don't deserve apologies.” Siobhan sighed. “Let's get going.” She spun on her heel when they heard the crack of the rifle. The visor on her helmet shattered as her head snapped back. Jolyon yelled out her name as she fell back, even as he ducked behind cover. He heard another familiar voice yell out from behind them, and that voice caused his heart to flutter.

“Siobhan!”


End file.
